I’ve just notched up two years of ‘townie’* life and what an experience it’s been. Here’s a little list of townie-revelations I’ve made over this time.
You know you live in a small country town when:
- Three seasons rule your life – seeding, harvest and football season – even if you’re not a farmer and even if you don’t play football
- Your social life consists of Tupperware, Intimo, Doterra, TriNature, Scensty, Thermomix, Style Dots, Jamberry, Chef’s Toolbox, Lorraine Lea Linen and Your Inspiration at Home parties (literally 30+ invitations in the last year alone!)
- The corporate ladder is about two rungs high
- Nobody needs your address if you invite them over, even if you only moved in a week ago (everybody also already knows where you moved from, who you’re married to and what your job is)
- The beauty therapist leaving town means the nearest smooth bikini line is 200kms away
- Within weeks of moving to town you’re on 5+ volunteer committees with the same 10 other people (slight exaggeration but you get the drift) – the smell of fresh (read: naïve and enthusiastic) blood must be strong
- The (only) shop and the post office are but 30 metres from one another but you still drive between them
- The doctor is your best friend’s husband (pap smears can wait for the locum!)
- Business meetings take place in the supermarket aisle
- Peak hour traffic means having to wait for 3 cars to pass
- Your crippling mastitis is diagnosed and treated by a doctor via webcam
- IKEA launching online shopping is a GAME CHANGER and marriage saviour
*’Townie’ according to urbandictionary.com is a person from a rural area that lives in a small town (as opposed to on a farm), this meaning is different to the English version which is highly derogatory.
Author & image: Gab Major